For you Lucy, Anything
by Feizu
Summary: Time passes, leaving us with surreal feelings. Nostalgic in some ways, terrifying in other ways. As memories of the latter nearly overwhelm our protagonist, he glances towards his beacon of hope. Unknown to her, she clears him of sorrow and rekindles his hope. Silently in the morning, Natsu confronts and confesses his true thoughts, desires, dreams, and hopes for their future…


Spring is among us. The melodious chirping of birds brought home captivating tunes different from the wails of many innocents, and the firing of bullets. The slow movements of the vibrant bustling city was different from the creeping silence that emerged during our sleep. The fragrant flowering of the cherry blossoms was different from the regular stench of dead. The sound of the crashing waves against the shore was different from the crashing of our many homeland ships. 'How lucky he was' he couldn't help but think through shut eyes 'to feel this all' He would normally cover his ears with both pillows to avoid feeling all this annoyance so early in the morning, but today there was none of that. For, he was alive and all these are proof of his breathing. More importantly, the sound of the soft breathing besides his was something he was grateful for, he couldn't help but think with a smile plastered across his lips. Fluttering his eyelids gently to stare at the sleeping beauty beside him which defined his very existence.

Surely, she'll never know that this scenery, this unrealistic painting would be incomplete without her. That this painting is of much more value to him simply because she wasn't a memory, or a setting, or a background forgotten by many. For she was the essence, the very reason why every stroke of color became brighter and more brilliant than it ever was. It was almost as if she was the very artist of that painting. She painted colorful skies for me, painted multiple doors for me, friends, family, and soon enough an entire world just for me, but much more than that she painted me. She painted me with color and life that brought many eyes near and other times, she painted me pale, dull, naked and so vulnerable to many which brought raised eyebrows and eyes afar. That's when I realized, the mask she painted across my face was gone. No matter how picky she was, she never once was one to ignore the unpleasant and remain only for what was deemed as acceptable. Bright colored brown eyes were the only ones gazing into my dull black ones during those days, but all my wounds, my pain and agony were quick to be forgotten. I sometimes wonder, what was it that I brought in times of vulnerability that made her eyes sparkle so much that made me lose my focus into thinking she was a lost star wandering about? How bad am I at lying for she was able to notice that during this war, I was the first to lose hope? The first to be the reason why her smile would vanish and join those who frown.

Surely, she'll never know that because of her I've come to understand that a person's suffering surely becomes the reason why another stands up in the midst of all this chaos. For her suffering, her shouts of despair and yet her reminders of hope, of a future, of a tomorrow, of a new beginning, a new born guild were the very reason why my jelly like legs stood, why my chin was raised higher than ever before, and why my eyes had no other choice but to look ahead at a future that was meant for us both. For, she is both the reason why I fall and why I rise but much more than that, she was the reminder that she never painted me as a commoner among many but the king of an empire that she built, and to that empire she is not only the queen that supports and holds everything in place with frilly dresses and red wine but she is also the warrior, the soldier that fights, bleeds, and cries alongside her allies and tastes the blood of her losses and wins.

Surely, she'll never know of the love that remained since the day I met her, the feelings that never wavered, the unsettling heart of mine that was on the verge of jumping out of my weak chest when I set my eyes upon the constellation of stars that I knew wasn't shining just for me, the jealousy and envy I felt towards the kings, and princes that were brave enough to approach to kiss her hand, the anger I felt towards those that bring her down in the worst possible way, but obviously I made sure that what was coming to them was going to be a lot worse than any pain she has ever experienced. Surely, she'll never know of the dreams and the future I've wished to accomplish with her, the adventures I'd love to have with her, the times I've daydreamed of unrealistic scenarios with her, the ones of our hands intertwining as though it was meant to be, the ones of freshly picked roses left at her apartment every morning and for every afternoon, she would kiss each and every wounds of my red prickled fingers with her soft gentle lips, the ones where I would declare my undying love towards her out in the open, where she would shout with an embarrassed face for me to keep my voice down but would smile softly like the tsundere she is. The ones of us cuddling in the cold harsh winter, where she would nuzzle her head against my now red neck for heat, placing a soft kiss on the scar hidden under my white scaled scarf. My mind is wandering far again, yet she is still here. How could she make me go crazy but also make me sane at the same time?

Surely, she'll never know any of this, because no matter how many words build and take form at the tip of my tongue they eventually lose their meaning, becoming nothing more but lies to her. I can never say or do what I want the way I want it to be but I'll make sure that whatever it is I want to say will be something that puts a smile across her face because there is nothing more than that, which would make me dance with the stars.

I watched as she began to move in her sleep, changing her sleeping position to a far more comfortable one. Her teeth chattering from the cold wind that blew across her face bringing her hair close to her nose, causing her to pull out the weirdest but the cutest facial expression of her pouting that he has ever seen. He softly placed the covers over her body earning her to smile. Bringing himself closer to her, he rested his head against his pillow to get a closer view and once he did. He lifted one of his hands to play with her blonde locks, twirling them around his finger and watching them spin once he let go.

Lucy… Surely, you'll never know that while you were desperately looking for a home, for a guild to belong to. I was also selfishly doing the same. I have a guild which is my home just like it is yours now but I think this entire time of desperately looking for Igneel, and accidentally meeting you brought about experiences of love and joy that I never dreamed possible without Igneel and from you, I found home. The home I was always looking for, the home I always dream of confiding to in the rain, thunder and in the dark. The house that was shining was always you, the wet doors that opened for me were by you.

I guess, I was never looking for a house or a guild or Igneel in the end, I was always looking for you and with you, brought home.


End file.
